Get-out

With a lighthearted touch and an appealing sense of humor, Liz H. Kelly offers a handbook for today's dating scene. Using examples from personal experience and interviews with friends and acquaintances, Liz Kelly has compiled a manual for women over 30 who are looking for a mate. She has devised convenient codes to describe different personality types of available men and provides questions to ask before making serious moves. She also reviews and assesses the mechanics of meeting and dating in today's world, including internet options and commercial match-making ventures. The book is great fun to read, focusing on true stories that will make you laugh and feel not so alone out there in the dating world.

Although this book is written for women, and I can see where a single women who wants to have a more enjoyable dating experience would find it invaluable, but I really had a great time reading it and found it enlightening and the stories enjoyable.

By the way, I'm always looking for how to be more romantic, and now that our youngest has graduated from college, my wife and I can go into full time dating (each other) and Liz Kelly gave me some great insights.

One of the tools that Liz Kelly uses to help women evaluate the type of men they date is a Man Code. There are 26 of them and she has pegged them to the Alphabet. These gave me some insight into how to become more attractive.
ASF - All Sports Fanatic
BA - Bachelor Available
CMF - Curios Male/Female
DGI - Dysfunctional Guy with Issues
ESS - Executive Search Seeker
FE - Fitness Extremist
GWO - Guy with Offspring
HGG - Hello Goodbye Guy
IP - Internet Psycho
JJ - Justifying Juggler
KOF - Keeper of the Fire
LS - Lost Soul
MBA - Married But Available
NN - Nourishing Nester
OO - Over-Achiever Obsessor
PTS - Post Traumatic Soul
QP - Questionaire Perfectionist
RR - Relentless Renter
SG - Social Guru
TT - Tasmanian Traveler
UA - Under-estimated Ally
VV - Vacillating Vortex
WD - Wounded Divorce
XXB - XX Brain
YE - Young Explorer

I interviewed Liz Kelly on "The Inside Success Show" and wow was it fun! She presents dating in a very proactive way and that's saying a lot coming from a guy. I highly recommend this book for men & women.

Here's some other things you can learn from Liz:

** How Liz Kelly was able to have 4 to 7 dates per week
** Why you need to spruce up your self-confidence!
** How you can choose what the report will say about you
** What are the 26 Man Codes and how to use them
** Why it's important to trust your GUT (and get a simple formula for how)
** How to determine who Mr. Right is for you and how to find him
** And much, much more ...

Liz Kelly makes the concept of dating fun for everyone and I recommend her book.

Randy (Dr. Proactive) Gilbert, author of "Success Bound"

I remember Liz sharing dating tips with me during high school in Baltimore. She had a natural knack for giving advice then - and now has taken her talents to a new level in a new century. She is genuine, sincere, and provides excellent advice in this book. I especially like her 26 ABC Man Codes - they made me laugh and gave me a lot of insights on men. Go Liz Go! Go SMART Man Hunting!

If you are considering buying this book, if you think you may have an anger problem then I highly recommend this book.
1. Understanding why I am angry was worth the cost alone.
2. Recognizing habits I have and things I do that are part of my anger was worth the time spent reading.
3. Finding ways to deal with my anger was worth buying and reading this book 100 times.

The book was helpful and intelligent and easy to read. I was thrilled to understand better what has been happening in my head and I am happier having read it.

Remember, angy men are not just the violent abusive men. My anger has never had a violent aspect but it has been a problem in other ways. This book was great and helped me immensely.

I never thought I had a real anger problem. Sure, I got mad, yelled, etc. on occasion. Who hasn't? Imagine my surprise that after waiting and planning for three years, my wife told me she was too afraid of my temper to start a family with me. That's when I decided I needed to try and change. I took the test at the beginning of the book and found that I was bordering on being an angry man. So many of the things he pointed out suddenly became very clear. After reading the book, I realized how much anger had hurt my wife, often without me knowing. I have never physically hurt her but my words did as much damage. It has been four months since I have read the book and I have not yelled or lost my temper, even once. I do not credit this book for all of this nor would I say it could work so well for everyone, but it really pointed me in the right direction. If you have been told you have an anger problem or if you think you might, I would highly recommend this book.

I picked up this book and read it myself before sending it to my ex. Let me tell you something ladies, its a good read for you to. If you ever were clueless about your angry spouse/lover then this book might even help justify some of the natural intuition you helped stuff away or doubt.

I lived with a angry man for a year... and I eventually left him for fear that his anger would escalate to the point he would hit me. He would go off, or explode about things that I never got to express an opinion on. He acted as if he could read my mind and he let that fuel his anger... He'd say terrible things and then say he didnt SAY them... much less "I" was crazy because I saw it another way. He was pretty blind and it drove us apart.

This book is an easy read and to the point. I asked my ex what he thought and at first it was helpful, but of course when he got [lippy] with me, the book was full of [bull]. SUPRISE there!

I think the best thing I learned is that, because I couldnt understand angry men, it made them monsters to me. Not human beings on any sense or level and that made me feel I had the right to lash out. I learned that angry men are actually incredibly insecure and vulnerable. But because they are this way, it does NOT justify their behavior. They make a choice... Anger can be like a severe sickness for some of these men and it may be something they battle all their lives. But there are options, there is hope, there is a choice everyday to take control... but ladies its not one you can make for them. Its up to you angry guys to get a grip if you want to save a relationship or create a better atmosphere at work or home.

"Let" this book help you!

Believe it or not - I picked this book up on a marriage retreat weekend! I had been going back and forth in my head for years over the issue of leaving or staying. We spent thousands of dollars on counseling and retreats yet I was on the verge of making myself crazy with no clear decision ever coming from the incredible amount of thought I put into the question of whether I should leave or not. I could always come up with a long Pros list of why I should with an equally long Cons list of why I shouldn't. I read this book in two hours and knew that I was incredibly unhappy in my marriage and had to get out. Kirschenbaum helps the reader to assess their relationship through a series of guidelines and come to the decision on their own. No more pros and cons lists, just a step-by-step guide on how to make the decision that's right for you. I am in the process of a divorce now but know that this is the right decision. On difficult days, I sit down with this book and review some of the questions that she asks in such a no-nonsense way and remember that yes- I am happier being out of my relationship.

The author does a great job of talking to the reader in a no-nonsense way about relationship ambivalance, which is something that many of us go through at least once in our lifetimes. It's a fantastic tool to help you examine how you feel about your relationship and if most people who feel the way you do were happier staying or leaving. I found this book to be extremely helpful--I had already made my decision before I read it, but it gave me reassurance that I made the best choice for me. It just reiterated what I already knew, but it was good to hear it from another source. If you are debating leaving a long-term relationship or marriage, buy this book. I have 5 friends that I am FORCING to read it just so they can get out of the state of ambivalence which helps no one. I know this book will help them in one way or another. Good luck...

My husband & I have had our share of ups & downs over 20 years; 10 years ago we did marriage counseling for 2 years, and just started up agin. We're in the middle of a nasty, passive-aggressive fight right now, so I bought this book yesterday when I was in the bookstore for something else (also reading Goleman's Emotional Intelligence - enlightening stuff). I'm about half-way through, and I want to buy a copy for my husband to read. I'm afraid that I recognized myself in some of the chapters, here I'm thinking I might want to leave - what if he wants to leave me? MK's questions are truly helping me to focus on what issues are important, and I believe will help us focus our discussions with our counselor to be more productive. If I'm doing destructive things, and this relationship has value to me, then I need to work on changing those behaviors. We have lots to work on, but I suspect this book has articulated something for me that my husband has never been able to, and it feels at the moment like this has the potential to turn things around for me (and, I hope, us).

The concepts are very clearly communicated, with examples, which always helps me to really "get" concepts. It's an easy read, though I recommend keeping a box of tissues nearby. Obviously it's very thought-provoking. As other reviewers have said (often more eloquently) - MK is gentle but very very direct. She will support your quest for honest answers, and in my mind has been careful to leave the ultimate decision in the readers' hands. That said, it is SO helpful to have feedback from other people who've had the same questions I do.

I wasn't going to give the book 5 stars because I don't want to give the impression that it has all the answers - but I've changed my mind, because I think that a book that points you at your own answers is probably superior.

"Claire Gets Caught" was my favorite book in the Boyfrieds/Girlfriends series. This was the first book which, for most of it, was filled with the teenagers having a good time on their skiing trip. I was especially happy for Nina and Claire, because poor Claire had been going through a lot with Jake and it was time he got over himself and admitted that no matter what he still wanted Claire. Also, Nina and Ben are the perfect couple, and I was glad that they got together because if Nina is going to get herself a boyfriend after what she's been through, Benjamin is the best guy for it.

Now, don't get me wrong, this is a great book, but...Claire has just gotten a bit TOO involved in the lives of her friends and her sister. She's concocted this little scheme for all 8 of the islanders to go skiing. Only three of them know how to ski, and Chris really isn't in any business to go skiing. Claire crafted up the scheme to get Jake back (she dumped him in Ben's in Love), but it won't work if he (or someone else) finds out.
This book will keep you on pins and needles, and it will make you laugh out loud when people start suspecting Claire!

i absolutely loved this book. this book answers the question about how nina and ben's relationship is after the kiss. claire tries to get jake and zoey and lucas might not be the perfect couple you thought they were.

I bought this because of a perfectionist sibling, hoping it would help me understand. It certainly did. The authors used case studies to illustrate points and did not get preachy or condescending to the perfectionist. And, wouldn't you know, I saw some of my own traits in there! The only quibble I would have with the book is that it is too short. All in all, though, a very worthwhile book. Now if I could just get her to read it.......

I am a reformed perfectionist who has achieved much happiness and success in my life because I read and applied this book. For me, the most revelatory moment came through the authors' explaination of the difference between striving for perfection and striving for excellence. I found that I could work towards excellence and yet give up much behavior that was painful to myself and others. Too Perfect is concise, easy to read, and has practical suggestions for each type of perfectionistic personality. I recommend it for anyone who is overwhelmed by being driven by the details of living--you may find that the cause is your internal perfectionist. And if not, I'll bet you know someone it fits--perfectly.

This is a terrific book on how to get over (or at least reduce)pickiness, procrastination, and commitment-phobia in your own life, and better understand and deal with your obsessive friends, clients, and lovers. (No small feat in NYC, the world capital of Perfectionism!) When I first read it nine years ago, I found the exercises/techniques useful for thinking and doing something about everything from why I didn't want to pay my bills on time to why I got bogged down in work projects. When I re-read it the other day, I found a whole new host of insights I had missed the first time around--Now I'm on-line, to buy a couple of copies for some of my more perfectionist friends and clients, since there's no way I'm lending them mine--the last person who borrowed it took five years to return it (admitting that she too had read it twice in the interim)!

I am only half-way through this book, and I would recommend it whole-heartedly. I had never read anything by this author before, but the title intrigued me. Well, this book is right on target. With wit and wisdom, Pastor Ortberg walks you through each area, and helps to address why we don't get out of our boats and trust the Lord more. His writing style is as easy to read as if he was sitting across the kitchen table from you. Each chapter has questions after it to further help you address what was discussed to your particular situation. There is even a "Bob-Prayer Challenge" issued by the author! (If you want to know what that is, you will have to read the book!) You will not regret getting this one - if you are serious about your walk with the Lord. It brings to light things that have held us all back from our destiny, our callings and generally fulfilling all that God has planned for us. But..... we will have to get out of the boat!

With over 365 "fear not" verses in the Bible - one for everyday of the year - it is evident that God has something to say to us on the subject of fear.
In a passionate and engaging discussion of the biblical story of Matthew 14, Ortberg in his book If You Want to Walk on Water You Have to Get Out of the Boat, uses the example of Peter walking on the water to speak to the issues of how to face our fears and experience the power of God, as we trust Him to do things beyond what we could imagine.
Utilizing his skill as a storyteller, Ortberg weaves the truth of God's word into the fabric of our daily lives with humorous stories and clever insight. In fact don't be surprised if you often find yourself relating to quite a few of the stories and illustrations Ortberg uses to challenge his reader to get out of the boat and do what Jesus calls you to do even though you are very afraid.
Whatever your boat is, you will find this book delivers practical application and encouragement for the water-walker who chooses to step outside their comfort zone and trust God for great and mighty things. While this may sound grandiose, I believe Ortberg's approach is based in reality, noting that we should expect a few waves to slap us in the face, as he mentions, "failure comes with the territory - but so does the strong hand of Jesus pulling you up when the bottom drops out."
Wherever you are on your spiritual journey, this book is a must read. Not only will you meet Christ anew in the high sea where the footing is impossible, but you will be refreshed by truth of knowing that you are not alone in your journey.

A very inspiring and good plan for making a sucessful life. I really enjoyed this book. If you want to use sound biblical teachings to encourage your everyday personal growth this is a must read.

Mundis has been where you are. He's struggled with massive debt, considered bankruptcy, felt despair over low income and climbing credit card balances.

After years of struggle, he found the way out. His method is based on the principles of Debtor's Anonymous, and the keys to the method are these three steps:

1) One day at a time, you don't incur any new debt.
2) You keep an accurate daily spending record.
3) You stick to your spending plan.

Notice I didn't say "three EASY steps." People struggling with debt often find the steps difficult, maybe even impossible, to implement. Why? Lots of reasons, it turns out. The good news is, Mundis helps you understand what those reasons are, and then he shows you ways to find the resolve to stick with the steps.

He offers hope and then some practical help. Truly, I think this is one of the best books I've read on beating debt. I think it will feel like a Godsend to anyone who knows the hopelessness that accompanies crushing debt.

Mundis also has a website. Get the book first, though. If you're a debtor/spender this book is a WORTHWHILE place to spend a bit of cash.

Reviewer: Linda Painchaud

I first read this book almost by accident in September of 1997. I was browsing through a bookstore out of town, and there it was. I thought $7 couldn't hurt. I've tried everything else. Why not this book?

Well, 2 1/2 years later, I've been able to pay off more debt than I care to mention. ($20,000+ comes to mind as a fairly accurate figure). I have often wondered what makes a self-help book really helpful. There are several things about this book that I really liked.

The first is that it is not a book about investments and how to get rich quick. It's not about depriving yourself either. It really doesn't give any specific financial advice which is why I liked it so much. There are other books for stuff like that.

Probably the single most important lesson in this book, and one which has changed my life immensely, is stop borrowing money. Just stop. Do it one day at a time. When I started on my debt repayment plan, I didn't worry so much about paying off my debt as much as not taking on any new debt. If that sounds simplistic, well it is. That's the whole point of this book. It's simple. It's not easy. If you want to heal, stop the bleeding. People who are in the rat race of juggling credit cards are bleeding cash every month. Stop the bleeding first, and then you start to heal.

Another lesson I learned is the monthly spending record. My friends howl when I suggest this. Keep track of every penny, yes every penny, that comes into your life and out of your life. I can say with conviction that that suggestion alone, coupled with not taking on new debt, will make your life so much different, you'll wonder in amazement. The author suggests keeping a weekly spending record and transferring it to a monthly record. I keep just a monthly record. It takes up very little time. It's also very eye opening how much money flows right out the expense column every month. The benefit of this is it allows you to make adjustments and find out where you are bleeding. It's not enough to guess. Until you write down everything, you will never fully understand where your money problems are. You can use a computer spreadsheet or you can do what I do which is write it down on old fashioned paper.

Another lesson this book taught me is that you don't need a credit card. Now there's a revolutionary concept. If you really think about it, how many people in your life including yourself say, "I need a credit card for emergencies." Hogwash! I've had two genuine emergencies in my life where I needed money and needed it fast. Well guess what? I had two choices, I could pay with a credit card or I could pay with cash. I paid with cash. Funny how many people accept cash as a payment these days. If you want to get out of debt, get out of the credit card habit. Use a debit card. I use my Visa debit card for all my amazon.com purchases, and it works beautifully. Same as cash.

One more thing, if you use credit cards and you pay interest every month, do you realize you're making the bank rich? Do you realize you're working for the bank? Whether you like it or not, that's true. Here's another lesson. Look over your credit card balances right now and ask yourself out of all the money you owe, how much stuff do you have to show for it?

Why do I give this book 5 stars? Well, I can divide my life into two time periods. The first time period was everything that happened up until september 14, 1997 which is the day I bought the book, and everything that has happened since then. I have no credit card debt at all since reading that book. I do have a credit card (okay, I cheat) with a $350 limit only to rebuild my credit. I pay it off every month. One word of caution, reading this book can be frustrating at times because you will come to the full realization that your attitude about money is completely wrong and that you are overwhelmed with debt that will take a long time to pay off. Relax. Once you start paying off your debt, it's all downhill. It picks up speed as you go along. I know, I've done it. Thanks Jerrold Mundis for writing this book. I've saved thousands of dollars in interest because of it.

this book is a must have if you are tired of passing out all of your money to everyone else but you. If you have bill collectors calling your home and job you need this book. If the student loan people are calling your relatives cause you refuse to answer your phone.... you need this book. If you toss all of your bills and "pink" bills into a corner and never open them you need this book. If you are tired of living paycheck to paycheck get this book. If you keep asking yourself where did my money go? get this book. if you find yourself at the bank right before opening to deposit a check to cover for a check you wrote that might bounce. getting this book is a good idea. oh and one more if you have relatives that never seem to have enough money and you think to your self hey these are my parents i should be borrowing from them not visa versa... get them this book. I liked it so much im going to a debtors anonymous meeting today.

This book is worth its weight in gold. No hocus-pocus quick fixes here - just common sense in short chapters on a myriad of methods human beings use to screw life up for themselves - or should I say "ourselves"? I saw myself on many pages, to one degree or another, and the "Usable Insights" were actually useful!! Very few authors go as far at stripping away the delusions people hide behind as Dr. Goulston. For anyone who REALLY wants to get to the nitty-gritty about how self-sabotage is hurting him/her, this book is a true gift!

The beauty of this book is that you can sit down and read from any of the stand on their own chapters and feel like you have a chance to make a significant change in your life. The perfect book for the person on the run, doing so many things that it is easy to be scattered. The lack of jargon also makes it friendlier and more enjoyable. I usually don't read self-help books, but I would read more like GET OUT OF YOUR OWN WAY,

This is a great book if you're a type A personality, because it points out the dangers of being to pushy, not listening, etc. It is also a great book for underperformers, because it points out behaviors such as feeling sorry for yourself, letting fear run your life, etc. This book will help you understand yourself and others whether you're a Type A, B or C personality.

I read the book and I'm now on my second month of a 39 month "Rapid Debt Repayment Plan". This is how long it will take to pay off $25,000 of unsecured debt, by simply making CURRENT minimum monthly payments. The strategy is also shown online at "Cheapskate Monthly". Check it out, use it and start a new life!

Thank God for Mary Hunt! She hit me right between the eyes with reality. We started in Spring 1995 with $70,000 in debt. It has taken 3 1/2 years of hard work, but in 4 months we will be completely debt free except for our mortgage, and will be in the black for the first time since 1985. She saved our marriage, gave us back our sanity and ensured that our son will have a great future. Read this book!!!

Simply put: this book changed my life. I couldn't put it down once I started it. I have since begun my money makeover and things are looking better than they have in years. The book is a Godsend for those like me who found money disappearing every month. She uses common sense techniques, but the key is the way that they all work together. Also, don't discount this book if you're not a religious person. Even though she emphasizes God and tithing, you can give your money to ANY charitable organization and still follow her program.

This book is not perfect, and although my complaints are minor, I do have a few.

1. My main complaint was that she ignores past-due debt when doing the money makeover. I had MANY past due bills and they just didn't fit into the makeover anywhere. My solution was to postpone opening my Freedom account for 3 months, and use that money to pay off as many past due accounts as I could. I also started my savings & giving at a lower percentage at first. It will work, just be VERY careful not to let total outgoing money exceed total income. Open your Freedom account as soon as possible, it is wonderful and essential to keeping on track.

2. She recommends dealing with cash. I found that dealing with cash was one of the reasons my money kept disappearing. I am electing to deal with as LITTLE cash as possible, so it's much easier for me to keep track of where I'm spending my money.

Even with complaints, I still rate this book 5 stars because of the radical positive impact it had on my finances when I followed her program. I highly recommend it.

Get Out Of My Life is a guidebook written to help parents understand and positively manage the difficult adolescent years. Suggestions on how parents can deal with adolescent turmoil, conflict, and real life issues are made.

The physical and intellectual changes associated with adolescence are discussed. How teenagers respond to these uncontrolled changes is remarkably similar within the individual sexes. On the other hand, they can be quite different between the sexes. For example, for young female teens fitting in is paramount. A young female teen's self esteem can be directly tied to their level of popularity. Friends are also very important to young male teens, but the boys are more accepting and less cruel in the process.

The interaction between parent and teenager is described and analyzed. Because the transition from childhood to adolescence is sporadic and out of character, parents are typically caught off guard and unprepared for hostile parent-adolescent interactions. This discussion is especially valuable in providing the bewildered parents examples of predictable teenage demands and how to handle them. For example, the parent of a new teen will immediately recognize the anecdotal descriptions the author provides like, "I don't care". Here the child threatens disobedience with the famous "I don't care what you say or do to me, I'll do what I want......." The author explains that it is the parent's job to discern actual disobedience from threatened disobedience and to avoid the ensuing fight at all costs.

Finally, the book examines the real world external challenges teenagers face and gives the reader statistics, tips, and advise on: peer pressure, drugs, alcohol, divorce between parents, trouble in school, and sex. Again, the author does a good job of building his points using anecdotal parent/teen dialogue. This provides, on the one hand, a mirror for parent's own behavior; while reinforcing the commonality of the teen behavior they are seeing in their children. Anthony Wolf has 30 years of clinical experience in adolescent psychology as well as experience with two of his own teenagers. His purpose in writing the book is to provide characteristic teenage dialogue, with a quintessential situation, and translate it into the naivete of adolescence that it is.

What I liked most about this book was the author's lighthearted approach to adolescence; as a parent of two adolescents myself, I could finally see the humor. It is much funnier when you come to realize that it is all normal and every family with an adolescent will experience it. Although I did not agree with all of his parenting advise, I agreed with the majority of his advice and found his book extremely insightful. I certainly would recommend this book to anyone who wants a better understanding of adolescence behavior.

This is the best how-to-parent-a-teen book I have found, after reading quite a few. It is succinct and humorous and covers the situations that really happen to parents and their teen aged kids. This book gives the best advice I've seen on how to reduce conflict, how to avoid unecessary conflict (he gives explicit advice on how and when to pick your battles), and how to handle conflict when it does occur, as sometimes it must. However, this book really convinced me that a lot of parent/teen conflict is unecessary and superfluous to really trying to raise a good kid into a good adult without trashing the relationship and spending several miserable years. It shows how we often react in a way that negates our true intentions, and gives better options for interacting. I have gone back to this book a number of times and I always come away feeling I've gotten advice that I can put into practice with real (and positive) results. I think my son and I are happier and closer as a result of this book.

I loved reading this book. It helped me realise that it's normal for my teenager to swear at me, be rude, refuse to do things for me, prefer her friends to me, and so on. This is all part of a necessary step of growing up. As a parent, you need to keep restating the rules and boundaries, make sure the limits are there, but not totally lose it when they are transgressed.

This book has helped me to get a more objective -- and much more sympathetic -- view of what's going on in her head.

The fact that my darling little 14-year-old girl has gone gothic and spends hours playing heavy metal on her electric guitar suddenly seems more endearing than worrying! Now I can focus on the more important things, like the fact that she also seems happy, relaxed and is doing well in school. Any amount of black nail varnish is worth that!

It's an easy-to-read, fairly light book, but despite its simplicity it has made me feel much more confident about my ability to deal with her teenage years. I'm currently reading "Yes, Your Teen is Crazy" which is a good complement to "Get Out of my Life".

PS - It's refreshing to see a book that has realistic dialogue. Swearing and all.