Form-T Books

I ordered this book to give as a Christmas present, therefore I didn't read it, but it arrived in a timely fashion and was in excellent condition.

This book is actually the original Imponderables book under a new title so it fits the theme of later books better. Unfortunately this isn't mentioned anywhere in the product description. This is mentioned on the cover of the book, but people who are buying it online won't be able to see that since it is put in fineprint, not in the description. I'm sorry to say that nothing has been updated either. That means that some of the information in here is going to be outdated or referring to thing that are no longer common since the early 80's. For example the stuff on milk cartons, collecting money from payphones or records spinning is going to feel out of place for people who think this is latest in the series.

You can tell the passion put into not only trying to answer these questions but to give you a feel for some of the less obvious aspects that are going on behind the scenes in a lot of these like the section on efficiency in washers & hypnosis. It is also contains such interesting things as: Why Do people look up when thinking, why do other hear our voices differently than we do, how did a mile get to be 5,280 feet & the difference between the wait times in different traffic lights. He manages to be informative as well as keeping thing humorous in the book. It also has the origin of some of the frustrables (imponderables that he revisits with new information) such as why do people close their eyes when kissing.

Buy this because you can't fine the original book anymore. Buy this because you have worn out your book in the last 20 years. DON'T buy this because you think it is anew one in the series or that is updated.

There are a number of these books out by this author and I had seen some adds that made them look very interesting. I found a number of problems with this book. There were items that only received a small paragraph that I would have liked to have seen pages, and items with pages that could have been a single paragraph. I also wanted more detail that was there, plus it would have been nice to have seen resources on where the information came from. I gave it a 2 as it was interesting to a very small point.

This book is an interesting collection of factoids. However, it is dated.

I have always been a big fan of the "imponderables" genre, but I had never read any by author David Feldman, an apparently prolific author in the that specific field. I thought the best place to start would be with his first Imponderalbes book, "Why Don't Cats Like to Swim?," which had apparently been originally published with the title, "Imponderables." I further assumed that an author's first venture into this genre would be the most interesting in that there was a high probability of an array of interesting subjects that eventually led to his writing the book. Well, I was wrong!

I finished this book in record time because I discovered that I couldn't care less about many of the alleged imponderables that were discussed. Really, who really cares about some of the following:

Why does root beer taste flatter than coke?
Which fruits are in Juicy Fruit chewing gum?
If trailer parks didn't exist, would tornadoes exist?
Why don't we ever see money from pay phones collected?
What is the purpose of the little slits in sugar cube wrappers?
What is a minor credit card?
Why are so many milk packages difficult to open and close?

If those and similar questions intrique you, you will probably enjoy this book.

About the only section that I found truly interesting was the section describing how stage hypnotists do their thing.

Perhaps his subsequent works got better in that the author solicites potential questions from his readership to be dealt with in later books. I'll never find out.

This book was recieved in about a week and a half. Better than I had thought! It's a good book. It reads very quickly and sent chuckles flying out of my mouth every few pages. If you like Twain you'll adore this book. If you don't, you'll still chuckle.

The Diaries of Adam and Eve is a great book for pleasure reading or for research. It isn't as well known as some of Twain's other works, but it displays his amazing wit and sense of humor. Adam is a couch potato, while Eve is a stereotypical chatterbox. The book is set up as a series of diary entries by both Adam and Eve. These entries tell the creation story in a fresh, amusing way. Twain may have been influenced by Milton's epic poem "Paradise Lost."

If there is a shorter, funnier, more delightful book on the planet, I have yet to find it. The genius that was Twain's is in abundant evidence here. And there is no longer version, this is it. Twain only wrote "extracts from" to make it seem more believable. Notice the "translated" also? I own the PBS version with David and Meredith Baxter Birney and have watched it many times, but I still laughed out loud when I finally got around to reading this short little gem. And the illustrations are at least half of the fun. I suspect this can re-read many times, especially when one is in need of a pick-me-up. Because, as always with Twain, much wisdom is interspersed with the humor. And beautifully written passages as well. DON'T MISS THIS ONE!!!

I bought this book because it was referenced in another book I read. I found the book to be witty and humorous. It's a fun and short read, thats great for a train or before sleep.
The diary entries alternate between Adam and Eve and deal with subjects like intimacy, talking (in Eve's case talking too much), and sexual roles (why does Adam name everything?)
Some of the entries were a little dry (hence the 4 stars).

This quote is Adam's final assessment of Eve; the true Eden is within us not a patch of picturesque landscape full of artificial harmony. I'm sure, had he died first in Mark Twain's vision, Eve would have said similar of Adam.

This is a wonderful, imaginative and amusing piece of writing - short, but with wisdom. I will never forget Eve trying to get stars out of the night sky to place in her hair - first with a big stick ('they must be so far away,' she complains) and then with clods of earth! I will never forget the speculations - how did the milk get into the cow? And the 'scientific' tests to prove the various theories!

Adam and Eve (and their children right up to Twain's own time) are fanciful imaginings in these writings but they are brim full of character and personality.

Mainstream lesbian comedian (and Provincetown resident) Kate Clinton's humor is showcased in this collection of 26 short pieces -- part stand-up routine, part essay, part schtick. Some of them are quite funny: "Whenever a woman describes herself as 'post-feminist,' I picture women lashed to posts. Joan of Arc was an early post-feminist." Some are mildly amusing: "Jean Harris was an early hero of mine. Who hasn't wanted to blow away a diet doctor?" Some are perfectly dreadful: "When CBS sportscaster Ben Wright claimed women don't make good golfers because their boobs get in the way of things, I thought, 'Two words, Ben. Beer. Gut.'" Once you get her started, you might want her to shut up. For a bit.

If you like lesbian and gay humor you are in for a treat. Kate will keep you laughing from the first word until the last word of this book. Laughter is the best medicine.

I found myself laughing throughout this wonderfully funny book, however it would have been considerably funnier preformed. Clinton is among my favorite Comediennes, and proves again to have an inteligent wit. The book drags in places, however, when tone and motion are simply necissary additions. So I recomend having someone read this to you while adding tone to their voice and motion to their bodies! Or simply watch her live or listen to one of her CDs.

I first saw Kate Clinton on "Out Loud and Laughing" and found her extremely hilarious. I found her topics in her comedy to be something I could really relate to, as well as her dry, sarcastic wit that was applied to every single comment, almost as sinful as buttered popcorn. I had been looking forward to this book for a long, long time.

Imagine my surprise when I read the book and hardly laughed, but more importantly, had to FORCE my way to get to the end. It was a difficult read not because of the language or the topics, but because I didn't care about what she had to say. It seemed too wordy, as if there wasn't any real point she was trying to make, but that she had to fulfill her 60,000 word contract deal.

I had better hopes for Ms. Clinton's book and hope that if she releases another one, she has a goal in mind; namely, a point.

Great book, but I wanted to verify the statement by Maggie B. concerning Rosie O'Donnell. My cousin, Wanda, is in her chub club and before she was allowed on the set, Rosie herself stuck her head in the green room and said, "If any of you are queer, keep it to yourself".

This book in an excellent review of the XForms standard. It is part tutorial and part reference book. It starts with about 50 pages of background material (XPath, XML Schema, XML, namespaces etc) and then starts with a conceptual overview with some examples. It then takes us through all the major XForms concepts and elements.

The book is well written in a compact and precise style. It also has several tables that I found to be handy as references although there is no full appendix listing all the XForms elements which would have been very useful. It does have some useful additional information such as how to use CSS with XForms.

T.V. Raman is also a very credible expert on XForms since he was on the w3c XForms standards body. He gives several insights into why the standard is structured to be device independent. This allows XForms to run on web pages and mobile phone applications.

The only reason I did not give this a 5 star is that the examples on the online on the web site have many problems. The book was written using LATEX and many of the examples on-line still have many LATEX codes in them and will not run without much editing. Somewhat sloppy.

My hope is that the author fixes these problems in the future so that all the examples would work with the FireFox XForms plug-in. That would be ideal for using this book in the XForms classes I teach. The book could also have used a bit more editing, I found several grammatical errors but no real conceptual errors.

Easy reading and a good explanation of XForms concepts. The book is about 230 pages with a CD. The XForms concepts are very well compressed into these pages, making it easy reading, yet less intimidating. I was able to read most of the book in the car when we went on a trip to Maine.

T.V's clear and structured thinking is well captured both in this book and in the technology itself. The simple writing style with the grasp of the subject matter and the interactivity model makes complex thing seem simple and beautiful at the same time.

Xforms is a ubiquitous technology. If more technologies were more like XFROMS, then specifications for accessibility, multimodal content, etc etc would all boil down to follow the speck, thank you.

XForms is one of those technologies that hasn't yet taken off, but could make a substantial impact if it ever does. I got a copy of XForms - XML Powered Web Forms by T. V. Raman in order to understand a bit more about the subject...

Contents:
Part 1 - Welcome to XForms: XML Powered Web Forms; Standard Building Blocks
Part 2 - XForms Components: XForms User Interface Controls; Creating Complex User Interfaces; XForms Model Properties; XForms Functions; XForms Actions; XForms Events
Part 3 - XForms and the Next Generation Web: Connecting the User to Web Services; Multimodal Access; XForms and Accessibility; Colophon; Bibliography; Index

In some ways, XForms is harder than just regular HTML forms in that there's more data architecture that needs to be considered beforehand. Conversely, you are able to achieve a much better separation of data and design than possible under the HTML model. Raman does a pretty good job in explaining the overall conceptual model of XForms, as well as how it hooks into all the other "X" technologies (XPath, XML Schemas, etc.). Once the groundwork is set in Part 1, Part 2 becomes the reference manual on how to use each XForm feature. It's not a huge reference manual, but the core information is laid out in such a way that you'd end up using it on a regular basis as you get up to speed. I found it all pretty easy to follow, and I see how this could become a fundamental part of your personal library if you're using XForms on a regular basis. Of course, the downside is that XForms isn't yet supported on any widely-available basis... :)

If I were asked to recommend a title for XForms information, this would probably be the one I'd point someone to...

XForms is just the right length and weight for reading in bed, or on a flight (two hours or more). So those are the places where I read Raman's book. I openly admit that I got more out of the book in flight than between sheets.

Raman belongs to the school of tell them what you are going to tell them, tell them it, then tell them what you told them. His English is rather academic in style, but it is always clear.

Raman has put considerable thought into the problems addressed by XForms.The book ought not be read as a description of XForms syntax, nor is it really a tutorial on how to use XForms. Rather, Raman's book is a treatise that sets out the desirable characteristics of electronic forms, especially those deployed over the Web. By explaining requirements, and illustrating, by means of those examples, how XForms meets his requirements, Raman has produced a compelling justification for the design of XForms. He has also gone a long way towards providing a clear set of criteria against which other forms technologies might be measured.

XForms is divided into three parts. Very roughly, Part One describes the mess we are in today, and sets out the characteristics of a means to salvation, and just how these are embodied in XForms. The second is a blow by blow account of the act of salvation; while the third points to the state of grace we might achieve in the future, if we pursue the principles on which XForms is based.

So, Raman sets off on the journey with a description, by means of a simple example, of the tools and approaches used in typical Web forms projects at the moment. He then spends some time reworking the example as an XForms implementation, and highlights the key advantages of using XForms. In doing so he introduces us to the major components of Xforms.

The rest of Part One is an introduction to the array of other XML standards the potential XForms developer will face when using XForms. Raman lists six standards on which XForms has some dependency, including XML itself. This is a strength of XForms. Processors, can, at least partly, be amalgamations of existing implementations of standards, such as W3C XML Schema. Furthermore authors are likely to be using skills that are useful in other contexts.

Part Two consists of a more detailed examination of XForms. Raman first takes us through the UI itself, moving from simple constructs to the more sophisticated. Each section describes the use of XForms components, with worked examples, and so helps to put into context the architectural principles sketched out in Part One.

As an example, let's look at Section 3.4, Types of Selection Controls. Raman tells us that it is a common requirement that a user make a selection from a predefined list of values. He cites the various ways that this can be physically represented on different devices, but then makes the point that "XForms defines selection controls based on the functionality provided, rather than their appearance in a given environment. This design has the advantage of capturing the underlying intent in a given user interaction rather than its mere visual appearance." (p.63). Raman expands his argument with a worked example, that contrasts how a voice browser might struggle with an HTML implementation of a choice, but work very naturally with the XForms equivalent.

Having described the basic building blocks of the UI, Raman tells us how to combine them within groups, repeating groups, and the XForms equivalent of tabbed groups.

Next come accounts of the bits the author needs to make a form function; Model Item Properties (MIPs), Functions, Actions and Events. In these chapters Raman explains and justifies XForms declarative style, whilst carefully acknowledging that techniques such as scripting have proved their worth in allowing people to "experiment and innovate on the Web" (p.163). As an example of the power of the declarative approach, Raman sets out how an author can use dynamically evaluated MIPs such as relevant, and read-only, combined with CSS, to control the physical representation of forms, by hiding controls, or groups that are bound to nodes that become irrelevant, for example.

The last section of XForms lays before the reader Raman's hopes for a future Web in which XForms acts as a mediator between humans and Web services and so; "allows users to interact naturally with complex, structured data; and does so across many modalities, in a way that makes the Web universally accessible".

Raman devotes a chapter to each aspect of his vision. In the first, he points out that web services rely on the transfer of "well structured, rigorously validated" XML, all ready for machine processing. XForms allows people to interact directly with such user unfriendly data. Furthermore, XForms allows authors to create islands of well structured data within oceans of the kind of semi-structured document that people use all the time. So "XForms makes the original promise of the document is the interface a reality".

The last two chapters establish that XForms does not impose any particular view of what that interface should be. Raman makes very forcefully the point that XForms is through designed to support multi-modality and accessibility principles, and so makes it trivial for form authors to create forms that will work pretty much any way that is appropriate. Raman emphasises that accessibility and support for multiple modalities are all part and parcel of the same thing. Moreover he has illustrated his points very carefully, to make clear that accessibility is about improving everyone's experience of the Web. We all find ourselves in situations when we are functionally blind, or deaf, or physically impaired, every day of our lives, if we just stop to think about it.

This is the ideal book and dvd package to learn Yang style Tai Chi Chuan from, you can learn from your own home if you get the dvd,Taijiquan, Classical Yang Style DVD (YMAA Tai Chi) Dr. Yang, Jwing-Ming, and if you have enough space to move around in.
(The form will require a minimum space of 6 x 6 meters.)
Also, you should get some large standing mirrors if you decide to learn by yourself, so you can see what you are doing.

Roughly half the book covers theory.
Learning a martial art without the theory behind it only leads to shallow and superficial knowledge.

It then teaches some Qigong warm-ups, before going into details of the Yang form (both the short and long versions) with both photos and text explanations as you go along.
As with all Dr.Yang's books, in my experience, the explanations are easy to follow...but you still need the dvd to fully comprehend the movements.

A must have book if you are interested in Yang style Taijiquan, at any level (novice to advanced), and for whichever reason (health and/or martial art). Ideal if accompanied by the corresponding dvd by the same title. Not a substitute for person to person classes, but an excellent source of additional insight and reinforcement. I have personally noticed great improvement in my practice and so have my instructors and fellow classmates. I am advancing much quicker since I bought the book and dvd.

This book is a little too ambitious in trying to cover a lot of ground: history of Chinese martial arts and taijiquan, what is qigong, what is taijiquan, photographs of the Yang long form, a few applications, and more. Unfortunately it is rambling with a lot of digressions of the author's own opinions on how taijiquan is "spiritual" - a little bit too long winded to be of practical benefit. Several reviewers mentioned the book draws on some of the author's other books so perhaps that explains this effect. Good basic content, but better editing would have made the book more organized and easier to read and study. There are some good practical tips on actual practice spruced throughout but they can be hard to spot. Overall, a more concise book focused on these tips would be much more beneficial. There are also too many self-serving references to the author's other books, which I found a little annoying. It seems he is more interested in selling a lot of different books than in writing one really good one. However, the photographs are of very high quality and the pages and binding seemed fine to me.

The bottom line:
If you are BRAND NEW to the art and want to read a lot of context and commentary surrounding taijiquan, this book may be worthwhile for you. If you have been studying for a while and are looking mainly for practical tips on principles, this may not be the best book for you. There are other excellent books you should check out such as Fu Zhongwen's Mastering Yang Style Taijiquan.

As a novice I have collected most of Dr. Yang's writings on Qigong and Taijiquan, as well as some tapes and dvd's. His background is well worth looking into, particularly the 25-page account in the Journal of Asian Martial Arts (Michael A. DeMarco, interviewer, Vol 12, Number 2, 2003) currently available on the YMAA website.

In this book Dr. Yang recaps the high points of his earlier foundation books on Qigong (Chi Kung), so that this text can be considered complete by itself. However, while those books go into more detail and have more Qi training exercises, Dr. Yang adds new content here.

At a glance, pages 66 to 76 contain completely original material. He also cites "The Body Electric" by Robert O. Becker, the man who healed "hopeless" fractures with subtle electrical currents. The first 100 pages deal with background, historical surveys, and anecdotes.

Published literature has contention over what the real Taijiquan (Tai Chi Chuan) is and should be. Whether a flowery dance, a health-giving exercise, or the ultimate form of moving meditation aimed at enlightenment.

The gist of Dr. Yang's argument is that authentic Taijiquan has both spiritual and martial roots. That proper theoretical perspective, combined with disciplined practice, leads to the deep levels of Taiji. Simply, he sees Taijiquan (Tai Chi Chuan) as a sophisticated progression of Qi (Chi) exercises.

However, saying and doing are two separate things. Another 80 pages are devoted to fundamental stances and Taiji Qigong exercises, all illustrated with photographs and arrow lines showing movement. The final 120 pages go to the 113 posture long sequence itself. (These two sections contain 489 photographs of Dr. Yang demonstrating the movements.)

Three considerations. First, the numbering system and page layout of the photographs can be a pain, so be ready with a pencil. Second, the printing and binding of this book could be better, so think of it as a training manual and get on with your practice. Third, Dr. Yang's writing style reads as "thought in Chinese and diagrams, written in English." Sometimes it takes effort and time to reach the deeper meaning of his writing.

The companion DVD and book make an exceptional combination. While the printing and binding of the book rates slightly below standard, the production quality of the DVD gets superior marks.

I have developed a deeper interest in martial arts, especially Taijiquan and Baguazhang, only recently. Dr. Yang's book answered many of my questions about the religious, philosophical, and spiritual roots of Taijiquan. I appreciate the time and effort spent in teaching this background information in the clear and understandible form in which it is presented. I recommend this book as excellent supplemental reading for Taijiquan history, philosophy, and understanding while studying the art itself.

Cynthia Heimel is an elitist without the benefit of being clever or funny. Her essays are cliche, slightly misanthropic, and yet are completely lacking in wit. How such vapid literary drivel gets publication and accolades is beyond me.

Heimel had me at hello- I was hooked with the first sentence of the introduction.

So, I suggest skipping your next date and reading this book instead- you'll feel better about yourself when you're done, and you won't have to shave your legs beforehand.

Someone who adores her dogs as much as Heimel is all right in my book, which I'm inspired to write after being introduced to her unique brand of smarts-meets-smarty-pants prose.

As we folks from the '80s say: Cynthia Heimel, you rock!

If you are a conservative and not a feminist, this book is sure to irritate you. She whines and nags about herself and her life and it made me hope I never have or ever do sound like such a miserable wretch.

I always wanted to get Cynthia Heimels cell phone number. Then I could call her up and say "Well, no one called, so I assumed it was you"

James Versluys

When I first read one of her books I thought, "Lord, another woman has written my stories." I laughed and found myself following people around reading parts out loud.

Reading "Don't Count the Candles. . ." is like having Joan Rivers talking directly to the reader--as an old (but fighting it every step of the way) friend. Her honest, shoot from the hip (liposuctioned, of course) game plan and advice is well-written and is done so with Joan's typical humor and wit. I'm buying a copy for all my friends and even my ex-mother-in-law! Go Joan! Keep up the great fight!

enjoyed reading this book. felt like joan rivers was talking directly to me. my only regret: wish there had been more examples for guys. (it is written, it seems, mostly for women--though it is applicable to either sex.)

Joan makes many of the same points she did in her last book, "Bouncing Back", but this one is not nearly as well done. In "Bouncing Back", Joan urged her readers to keep an optimistic attitude when disaster strikes. For instance, she said that it's okay for a woman to "wear a red dress to her husband's funeral as a sign of love". I could not agree more with that sentiment because grief is a highly personal process. What helps one person get thru a crisis may hurt another.

The book does make lots of valid points, such as the put-down of retirement communities. (How I wish my Dad had read this before he retired - he left the police force in 1993 because he was stressed - or so he thought. His health and life in general have declined since then.)

Unfortunately, Joan seems to have changed her mind to a certain extent in this book. Instead of advising older women to live life on their own terms, as she did with grieving people in Bouncing Back, she tells them that they can't wear a lot of styles of clothing any longer, because at their age, it will make them look silly. I say the hell with that attitude, an older person is entitled to be silly if he or she wants to. (BTW, I'll be 40 in Sept. I'm not looking forward to it, but I'm not going to give up things that I like either just because I've reached a certain age.)

I really wanted to like this book but I found it to be uninspiring. I like Joan Rivers but feel this was just a book to write about what most older people already know such as 'older women shouldn't wear short skirts', etc. and her put down of retirement communities was inappropriate. There's more fun going on in some of those 'young retiree' communities than you could imagine!

Joan Rivers has her fans. And she has her detractors as well. Yet not even her detractors can deny that she is an honest, gutsy lady who doesn't miss a trick, who took every lemon that life tossed at her and squeezed it until it became a delicious lemonade.

As with her earlier books, DON'T COUNT THE CANDLES is written in her typical breezy style, with plenty of laughs thrown in for no extra charge. That's what this book is, too: a charge. Rare will be the reader who fails to be both enlightened and refreshed by Joan's entertaining outlook on life. For her fans, this one's a must.

As an aging rock star named "Bruce" once sang (famously in his ode to a "Pink Cadillac") -- "Love is bigger than a Honda . . . it's bigger than a Subaru." How much bigger is captured perfectly by Barbara Holland. (Please see end of this review.) Ms Holland is miles ahead of anyone else in reminding us what "true love" once meant.

This book, "Wasn't the Grass Greener? - 33 reasons why life isn't as good as it used to be," provides (I believe) the finest essay ever written on the subject of "Falling in Love." Deservedly, it is twice the length of any other chapter here (14 pages) -- and parked, like a stretch limo, between a little Subaru-of-a-chapter called "Radiators" and a sort of `Civic' titled "Election Night."

Honestly, I can't remember the last time I read a book of essays where each is funnier (and simultaneously more poignant) than the last. My favorites so far (I'm only midway through the book!) include "Suntans," "Old Things," and "Clotheslines." The latter two, read aloud to my wife, left me laughing and crying simultaneously.

After scanning the contents page, I opened the book to "Suntans" (I'm trying to get one, for the same reasons Barbara sings their praises,) Then, I skipped ahead to "Taverns," "Pianos," "Poetry," and "Porches" (not the car -- the house feature that Barbara's grandmother's Washington home had three of).

Moments ago, I read "Falling in Love" -- and I simply couldn't wait to finish the book before writing a review. I believe if Mark Twain were still with us, he would declare Barbara Holland his favorite writer - and agree she is the best "iconoclastic essayist" of the last hundred years.

As an incentive . . . to your purchasing this book (and I'll buy your copy if you don't enjoy it, and give to a loved one for Christmas) . . . some snippets from "Falling in Love."

----

"Last spring the Washington Post sent a reporter to cover the prom of my old high school. They found that tuxedos are still rented, dresses agonized over, bow ties still assembled, and expensive products applied to the hair and skin for the grand occasion, just as in the olden days.

"The news was that fully half of the celebrants came with friends and groups of friends of their own gender. Those with dates were offhand about them; they'd been chosen at the last minute from a pool of classmate possibilities.

"One girl had asked a boy who said yes then changed his mind, claiming that he wanted to be fresh and rested for his SATs the next day. Another girl said she was relieved to have no date because, `You don't have any pressure with friends' . . .

"I graduated from that school. I went to the prom with orchids pinned to my chest, little cream-colored orchids with purple edging. My date was madly, helplessly, desperately in love with me. I too was in love, though with someone else, who loved another. We were all in love.

"The whole school. In love or in recovery, bruised but brave, still carrying a torch, still writing terrible poetry, and poking coins into the jukebox to endlessly replay the ballad we danced to last summer.

"The intensity of our passion was the measure of our worth, and he or she who loved but reasonably was a wingless soul, a poor spiritless clod. . . .

"Male and female alike, we dissected the nature of true love. It was understood that what we called `The Real Thing' would strike only once in a lifetime, and if it misfired or came to grief, the rest of our days would be hardly worth living . . .

"Today I drive past as the local high school is letting out and hundreds of students clot the lawns and sidewalks, some alone, some with a friend, most in chatting groups. Nobody walks with his arm around another; nobody is holding hands . . . and the songs blasting from their car radios don't mention love . . .

"Love improved sex. Even the most unadorned and standardized sex, combined with love, produced a jolt. Currently, to judge from the Internet and specialty shops . . . plain sex is no longer worth doing - and needs a lot of seasoning . . .

(I remember) "T" and I after a sleepless night of love, staggered blearily forth and caught a bus toward our respective offices. The bus was crowded and we were jostled apart in the aisle. Over the shoulders of strangers our eyes briefly connected, and I would have fallen down if I hadn't been wedged in the crowd.

"Various writers have tried to describe this moment, usually by comparing it to a massive jolt of electricity, but that sounds painful. Others mention an explosion of interior light so intense that nothing ever quite looks the same afterwards, but that sounds too passive.

"I have no description to offer. Except that it lasted for perhaps a full second, and in the decades since, I haven't come across anything worth trading it for."

WASN'T THE GRASS GREENER? by Barbara Holland is a ruefully nostalgic lament on the passing of things, activities, and states of mind that older generations grew up with during a period that can now perhaps be perceived as a simpler time: things such as pianos, liquor cabinets, sneakers, porches, desks (as opposed to computer stations), clotheslines, windows (that actually open), radiators, grand urban department stores, playing cards, and telegrams; activities such as ice-skating, election night, idleness, pranks, picnics, and star-gazing; and states of mind such as childhood, worries, and falling in love.

I can't find a birth date for the author on the Internet. At 57, I suspect I'm 10-15 years younger than she. Certainly anyone younger than, say, 45, won't find this book relevant and may wonder what Barbara is grumbling about.

The volume itself, published in 1999, is dated, as revealed in the chapter entitled "War", in which Holland misses the good vs. evil simplicity of the Second World War and, to a lesser degree, the Cold War. According to her, what with the demise of the Evil Empire, there's nothing to provide a rousing martial diversion other than a spirited soccer match or grueling computer game. One wonders what she thinks post-9/11 about the current us vs. them confrontation likely to last decades, i.e. Western culture vs. the kamikaze acolytes of jihadist mullahs. It doesn't have the drama of D-Day, but it's all we've got, and could conceivably result in the nuclear holocaust avoided with the Soviets.

My favorite chapter, because it's so deliciously politically incorrect, is "Homogeneity", in which Holland takes a swipe at our society's cultural diversity, otherwise so hailed by liberals, in which the various ethnic and national elements, if they had their druthers, would just as soon live in their own isolated enclaves. As Holland (facetiously?) points out, the "American" traditions stemming from the country's Anglo-Western European roots will soon only be found in the towns and small cities of places like Idaho and Montana.

Holland writes with a wry humor that I, at least, found appealing. In her chapter on "Worries", she bemoans the loss of those less anxiety-prone times that've given way to an angst-laden society subject to legislative and regulatory nanny-ism. The following is illustrative of both the author's humor in general and this chapter's point in particular:

"Lighting a candle the other day, I considered the box of kitchen matches. In the usual large red capitals it warned me, 'CAUTION! DO NOT DROP.' Satan tempted me, and I fell. Looking around to make sure I was unobserved, I let go of the box. The matches rattled slightly and lay still. I had called their bluff."

Anybody who reads WASN'T THE GRASS GREENER? with an appreciative nodding of the head could perhaps add to Barbara's list. Several that come to mind include: glamorous stewardesses that serve full-course in-flight meals instead of pretzels, ice-cold Coca-Cola in glass bottles from the vending machine at the corner gas station, drive-in movie theaters, athletic heroes that aren't otherwise greedy boors, and kindly General Practitioners that still make house calls.

Oh well, one can still find reruns of "I Love Lucy" (1951-57) on the telly, be assured of a broadcast of "It's A Wonderful Life" (1946) on Christmas Eve, and buy a burger from Carl's, Jr. (established 1956) or a Frisbee (as Pluto Platter, 1955) to toss with the dog.

Ever suspect life isn't as good as in the 'good old days'? Maybe you're right! Holland outlines over thirty reasons why life isn't as good as it used to be; from the disappearance of simple pleasures such as home pianos and liquor cabinets and clotheslines to the transformation of a unifying single cultural worry to thousands of daily concerns.

The late musician Frank Zappa intoned that nuclear holocaust was not the only--and perhaps not the worst--form of ultimate destruction; there were, he said (and I'm surely paraphrasing) at least two others: paperwork and nostalgia.

With this book, Barbara Holland has erected a lovely 235-page altar to the latter of Mr. Zappa's nightmares. Why someone with her obvious writing talent (see her 'Endangered Pleasures' as an example) and keen eye should have written such a sour collection of "oh, but how things were so much better when *I* was a kid" essays is a bit beyond me. If your eyes start to roll when an older relative launches into his "well, y'know, in *my* day ..." talk, well, you'll appreciate this book even less. It's that same talk, repeated 33 times--even the title warns you.

So what's wrong with a little wistful looking back? One of Ms. Holland's strengths (again, shown better elsewhere) is her rock-solid certainty, which veers just close enough to sarcasm that you can't help but get the point. That is, even if you don't agree with her jabs, you know that *she's* sure--and will tolerate no argument because, well, none is warranted. Alas, that sure voice is rarely found here. We're not told that radiators are *definitively* better than forced-air heat, or that clotheslines should just make you *forget* about clothes dryers. In most cases, the author simply wants to tell us little ditties about why these artifacts appeal to her personally, often washed down with a sepia-toned childhood anecdote. She saves her venom for what has replaced her cherished icons, and here we find the usual suspects: TV, computers, technology in general.

Without wondering whether Ms. Holland wrote out 'Wasn't the Grass Greener' in longhand (avoiding those demonic PCs), one could read only her essay on 'Art' to tease out the defects in the rest of this book. The piece is not exactly why art "isn't as good as it used to be." Instead its two pages are devoted to quotes from intellectuals trying (admittedly, to somewhat hilarious effect) to define what art is. Yes, we can rather easily see this is a mess, but where's the cure? And, for that matter, what's exactly wrong? Was "art" better at some point in our glorious past? When? Why?

You can read the other 32 essays with much the same reaction. Psychiatrists (the Freudian variety) are so much better mere "therapists!" E-mail is so pale compared to the visceral thrill of receiving a ... telegram! So what are we to do? Go back? And how, exactly, would we revive such lovely things as suntans, taverns, or liquor cabinets? Without remedies--or even much depth beyond anecdotes--the writing comes off as no small amount of whining.

Barbara Holland was on much surer ground when attacking our present phobias; I'm hoping she doesn't continue the case for returning to some older ones.

"Wasn't The Grass Greener?" (aka "A Curmudgeon's Fond Memories") is Barbara Holland's evocative, wistful essay collection enjoyable for its lack of pretense, emphasizing effect over cause. She assembles 33 missing social puzzle pieces, enjoyable independently, into a picture of how society now views personal comfort, leisure time, and social interaction.

Holland drew her vignettes for "Wasn't The Grass Greener?" living everywhere from Washington, DC (where she grew up and from which she writes a disturbing glorification of national wartime attitude) to Denmark (where she lived as a young adult, developing a fondness for homogeneity that mirrors Pat Buchanan's similar views on multiculturalism) to Philadelphia (where she raised her family and fondly remembers frozen ponds for skating and the old John Wanamaker department store).

She recalls the decline of such mundane activities as card playing ("just another of those things...that caused us to visit our neighbors and invite them into our houses") and ice skating ("nobody won or lost, which is not the American way and probably a bad influence on the young"). She writes of home furnishings plain as a liquor cabinet or radiator (It was clean and it smoked not...(they) moderately (were) dispensing their measured flow of comfort, like grandmothers"). She eventually rises to abstracts like worrying, idleness ("Work stole our days, but entertainment took everything left over")or falling in love. As she does, you realize Ms. Holland misses how things felt, not always how they were. The telegram's tangibility bests e-mail's cold type. The tavern's social jape and comfort, songs from parlor pianos, even old clothes hung from clotheslines show natural, tactile interaction American life now lacks.

Her essays prefer older, more personal entertainments to those from passive, antiseptic, solitary electronics. She prefers organic, commodious warmth over the constant chase for mechanized, articifically magnetized fads and fashions. She trusts people ("When I was young, the doctor was God") over machines. She misses what united us, decries the cynicism and nihilism that divided and partially conquered us.

Holland frets about our needing protection from fear (of lawsuit and loss), at all costs from seen, unseen, and manufactured dangers. This insulation became isolation keeping temperatures steady, freeing us from harmless pranks, suntans and bugs at picnics. It kept children organized and supervised rather than left to their creative endeavors (this chapter, too, appears to advocate irresponsibility). It even kept our most intimate communications, love and sex, at virtual (reality) arm's length rather than forward to vulnerably falling in love.

Holland writes in refreshing, near-diary style, neither persuading nor entertaining objection. But fond memories, however curmudgeonly and well-written, do not excuse facts. Her otherwise humorous chapter on pianos hits a sour note when she writes, "Imagine the Beatles carrying one around...nobody could wring a drop of juice out of rock on the piano." Huh? Little Richard, Fats Domino, Jerry Lee Lewis, Ray Charles, Leon Russell, Elton John, Billy Joel? When rock was greener (pre-British Invasion), piano dominated the new style and remains prominent. (And yes, Paul McCartney played mean piano on the Beatles' rockers and Elvis allegedly played better piano than guitar).

Pink Floyd, who I doubt was heard much on Holland's parlor piano, once asked the musical question, "Would you exchange a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage?" They answered years later, "I have become comfortably numb." Leo Buscaglia once said he would choose feeling pain over nothing; his views were parodied unforgettably in the film "Ferris Bueller's Day Off" (the bohemian Bueller could be Ms. Holland's hero) and restated 33 different ways here. Her nostalgic book (true to her code, unavailable on audio cassette) is worthwhile, educating reading worth following with your own sequel.

This is a cute book. I needed some kind of gag gift for a friend who was turning 50. This was perfect. We passed it around at the birthday party and it was a hit.

This is a funny little Q & A joke book -- with some cute little Q&A jokes/riddles . . . but since it's printed on both the front and back covers, I was expecting, "A Funny Birthday QUIZ."

A quiz normally invites input from the reader, and I was expecting more along the lines of -- quite frankly -- a QUIZ.

Nevertheless, it is a cute little book that would be a good gift for those turning 50 whom like Q&A jokes.

Just don't be expecting a funny birthday QUIZ!!

Not only is this book "laugh outloud funny," it is the perfect "stocking stuffer" gift for all of my baby-boomer friends who turn the big 5-0 this year!

Any true baby boomer will get a kick out of this book for its humor and quotability. Even those of us who haven't hit the big 5-0 have begun to say "You know, 50 ain't that old." This book makes it easier to accept what is now barely middle age.

I've read funnier quotes at a post-apocalypse planning meeting. I'd like to believe that as I get closer to 50 (not quite there yet--but soon) my sense of humor is growing more sophisticated. Why then a book filled with humor best appreciated by those with the most juvenile sense of humor? I don't know if the author's name really is Witte, but based upon this title, he should consider changing it to Hackneyed. After finishing this book, you won't be amused, only depressed.

This book, like all of Lewis Grizzard's books, is absolutely full of humor. Even though he's been dead for several years, I still miss his columns and books.

Complaining that Lewis Grizzard's writing lacks a plot is like complaining that Beethoven or Merle Haggard's music isn't good to dance to. Lewis Grizzard was a columnist and he didn't write "stories" with "plots". He wrote essays full of perceptive and funny insight into what makes people tick, or at least amusement that he didn't understand certain things, such as Dr. Ruth's status as a sex expert. (Now, be honest.... how many saw Dr. Ruth for the first time and thought "SHE's a sex expert"?)

I don't know about the rest of the world, but Georgia misses Lewis Grizzard.

Stupid humor,no plot ,and extremely boring!!!! 1 star. This book was utterly disappointing.

Lewis was one of the funniest authors that ever wrote on southern traditions.

In "Don't bend Over in the Garden Granny, You know them Taters Got Eyes" Lewis takes a look at . . . well . . . sex. From poking fun at how the accent of Dr. Ruth could seriously hurt someone and other hilarious subjects that will keep you laughing for days.